The Squatch. Chillin’.
If you haven’t gotten the gist of the blog by now, my wife and I had a baby. Well, my wife had a baby; I mostly sat around asking if she needed more ice chips. Team effort.
Squatch is that baby. His name is Felix, but even before he was born, before we met him, before we even knew he was a he, he was named Squatch.
My wife insists that I can be mistaken for a sasquatch if you might happen to be standing around with a grainy Super 8 pointed in my direction. Big feet, body hair, putrid stench—the whole nine yards. And I just happen to be lucky enough that this fact hasn’t dissuaded her from carrying and rearing my sasquatch seed. As a result, I lovingly refer to that wonderful little parasite as “Baby Sasquatch.”
Squatch.
The nickname has stuck around postpartum. My wife didn’t start out too fond of the word Squatch, but it grew on her. Sort of. She doesn’t use it, but she doesn’t yell at me when I use it. You just have to give it time. And a couple thousand repeatings. And a blog that’s become an international sensation*.
*And of course, by “international sensation,” I mean the Slovenian spambots that like to leave comments on my posts. ‘Sup, guys?
& squatch makes three 
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We call ours Toopy Poopy. That was his name in utero. And he’s two years old now.
Why toopy? “Choopchik” – the Hebrew word for a little thingamajing. It fell out of my mouth one day and I was sure my husband would be mad. But he wasn’t – he liked it.
From choopchik – to tooptik – to toopy, toopy poopy, toopy peepee, poopy toopy. His name is Toop (or Toopy) for short.
Love it. Normal nicknames don’t do it for me.
Thanks! Everyone kind of looks at us like, “Huh??”
You are hilarious.
Thanks! It’s one of my best features.
🙂
Our little one was called Titch when he was on the inside but since making his way into the world he has become Monkey Doodle (I call him Doodle and Hubby calls him Monkey and so to make life easier we combined the two!). I love silly nicknames for kids and I think Squatch is one of the best I’ve heard!
I call him lots of things, but Squatch was the first and the best. Now I just have to come up with something equally as good for any future kids. Challenge accepted!
Haha! Mine was “sproglet” 🙂
That’s pretty damn awesome.
Haha! The more I read, the more I love. Great comedic writing- and thank you for calling out the spambots. Most annoying.
Thanks! I don’t think I necessarily have anything against spambots, though. Some of my best friends are spambots.
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We call our 9 month old girl “Chicken Pie” because we didn’t like our 5 year old’s suggestion; “Princess Jesus”
Your idea is probably a little easier to live up to.
If I ever start a band, though, I’m calling it Princess Jesus.