& a happy place

I know, I was gone for a minute there. It’s been a crazy and frustrating couple weeks around the Sasquatch household. A recap:

  • Squatch got his first cold.
  • I had a preliminary interview for a permanent version of the job I currently have a one-year contract for.
  • Squatch came down with an ear infection and another cold.
  • I had a day-long final interview for a permanent version of the job I currently have a one-year contract for.
  • Squatch caught a gastrointestinal virus that caused a good deal of stomach evacuation.
  • Squatch’s medicine for the ear infection gave him some wicked diarrhea.
  • We had to take Squatch into the doctor to make sure he wasn’t getting dehydrated. (He wasn’t.)
  • I failed to secure a permanent version of the job I currently have a one-year contract for.
  • We caught about a foot-or-so of snow over the last couple days.

It’s probably easy to understand how I neglected you, Bloggy-verse. With such a crappy couple weeks, only one thing could turn it around.

BOUNCY TIME!

& the wheels keep on turnin

I just can’t stop him. No matter what I do to deter it, Squatch just keeps getting older and bigger, turning from a baby into a little boy.

That rolling over thing? Conquered. A few months late, but as of a couple weeks ago, he’s flopping back-to-front, front-to-back, and spinning around in circles like Curly Howard:

Yeah, I know it's Homer Simpson. There wasn't a GIF of the Three Stooges original anywhere on the Google.

Yeah, I know it’s Homer Simpson. There wasn’t a GIF of the Three Stooges original anywhere on the Google.

On top of that, his hair’s starting to grow in, he’ll likely have teeth popping through any day now, and then—GREAT MERCIFUL CRAP—there’s this:

I’m doomed, I tells ya. Doomed. This doesn’t even show the best of it, where his knees jump up to his hands. He hasn’t figured out how to use his arms yet, but once he does, doomed.

What he has figured out, though, is moving backwards. He can inch his way across the floor, ass-first, sweeping up all the dog hair in the carpet along his path. I’m raising a regular rocket surgeon over here.

Dramatization. The part of Squatch will be played by "Terminally White Rays Fan."

Dramatization. The part of Squatch will be played by “Terminally White Rays Fan.”

& we caught one

Taking sick day like any normal kid: Kickin back and watchin some 'toons.

Taking sick day like any normal kid: Kickin back and watchin some ‘toons.

It’s official. Squatch’s first sickness is in the books.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before it happened, really. Kids get sick. You parents know that. Oh boy, do you know that. So I guess we should consider ourselves lucky that it took him seven months to finally come down with something.

Last Friday, we went to visit our nearby friends and Felix got to see his good buddy Jack. We hadn’t gotten to hang out with them much recently because pretty much everyone in their house had come down with one nasty thing or another pretty solid for about two or three weeks prior to that. A little after we got over there Friday, Jack started to come down with some sniffles. It didn’t seem like too big a problem, and we were happy to be hanging out with our friends again. He didn’t have the plague or anything.

At one point, Jack picked up Squatch’s Sophie to give it to him, but his mom stepped in. She put it aside and said, “You’ll probably want to wash that before you give it to him.” I took the note down in my head and put it in the pocket of Squatch’s diaper bag so I wouldn’t forget.

Fast forward to yesterday, when Karli texts me to let me know that Squatch had his official first cold. And of course it hit me. I forgot to clean that damn giraffe. I just took it out of the diaper bag on Saturday and gave it to him to play with. Didn’t even think twice about it. I’m the guy in the epidemic movie who says, “Aw, come on guys. It’s just a cute little monkey.”

It's not long before the cold catches up to you, is it buddy?

It’s not long before the cold catches up to you, is it buddy?

It’s mostly just a runny nose. To you and me, that’s just a bad day at the office. But when it’s his first, to Squatch it’s like someone’s trying to kill him from the inside of his head. The drippy snot leads to coughing and trouble swallowing. He can’t breathe well, which means he has trouble eating, sleeping, and—oddly enough—pooping very well. Amazing how something so minor to us can wreck his whole damn life, isn’t it?

Turns out it wrecks ours, too. Both Sunday night and last night were pretty awful nights for him, which means they were pretty awful nights for us. He was up every hour or so because he’d get so stopped up that it’d cause him to wake up, which means he’d scream, which means we’d have to go get him and soothe him back to sleep. Brings back those oh-so-fond memories of his first couple months—the ones where he ate about twenty times a night until Karli and I both were curled up in corners sobbing quietly to ourselves.

I do keep finding myself feeling so bad for him. At one point soon after I got home from work yesterday, he got into a coughing fit so bad that he started to turn blue. It didn’t last long but it freaked me the hell out. His little eyes were watering and he looked terrified.

If I could trade places with him, I—well, I wouldn’t. Being sick sucks. Chances are he’ll pass on plenty of crap once he starts school and makes lots of germ-festering little friends. He’s going to get sick a lot, which means I’m going to get sick a lot. He can go ahead and take this one.

Typhoid Sophie gets sanitized. Too little, too late.

Typhoid Sophie gets sanitized. Too little, too late.

One thing’s for damn sure. I washed that effing giraffe. Got some boiling water and some dish soap, and I made sure that every trace of virus or bacteria or DNA was scalded to hell. Scorched earth, baby.

Fun fact: When you submerge a Sophie the Giraffe toy in water, it comes out sounding almost exactly like a stopped-up baby. It’s uncanny. Until all the water works its way out, the giraffe will be wheezing her way through the day right along with Squatch. That also means it’s probably a good idea for me to warn you not to stick your Sophie the Giraffe in water. Just wipe it clean. Otherwise you’ll probably be scolded by your significant other and your kid’s sleep-deprived eyes will glare at you with betrayal and confusion. Just trust me on this one.


I went and changed things up this morning, revamped the look of the blog. You dig? Let me know if there are any problems with it.

Also, if you haven’t yet, you should like the Official & Squatch Makes 3 Facebook Page. If I get 30 followers, I get access to the Insights thing. Insights, guys! I have no idea what that is, but it sounds exciting. I just need one more to get to that magic spot.

And yes, you read that right. Only 29 people like my Facebook page. I’m just not that cool. Or maybe I’m too cool. Yeah, we’ll go with that one.

& i need help

Well, obviously. But this isn’t about that.

I’m not looking for parenting help, either. Not at the moment anyway. We’ll wait till my kid’s mobile before I go begging for that.

No, I need YOUR help, fellow denizen of the Bloggy-verse. With blogging. Specifically, with my students’ blogging.

I promise I have an actual class. They are not imaginary.

I promise I have an actual class. They are not imaginary.

See, I’m teaching a composition class that is all about “Writing as Engagement.” And little ol’ me thought, “What better way to have my students engage with writing than creating their very own blog?” So I did that. They each have their own blog, centered around a specific topic (family, sports, crafts, etc.), and three times a week, I give them a blog prompt. I try to make it something that can help spur some ideas in their heads while still being adaptable to a wide range of topics.

For instance, their first prompt was “Confidence.” I gave them “Ambition,” and “Failure,” and this picture. This week I’m giving them a few Super Bowl commercials as prompts. The idea is that they can use the prompt in whatever way they see fit to help them relate to their blog’s central topic. They can straight-up address the prompt itself or use it in a way that makes them think of something only tangentially related to the prompt. It’s just there to get them content to fill three days a week during the semester.

So where do you come in?

Well, Bloggites, I need some ideas for prompts. I’m pretty sure I’ll run dry quickly. As you can tell by this space, I have a little trouble getting my own content up sometimes (though that’s usually more of a time problem than anything else).

But you’re creative. I’ve read your sites. You’re the best people I know at this writing-on-the-internet thing. I figured, “Why should I drive my own damn self nuts when I have droves of loyal followers a few random, lonely nutjobs a wonderful community of creative individuals to draw from?” Give me stuff. Give me lots of stuff. Make it adaptable to a broad range of topics. What can my minions students write about that would be good? Tell me, tell me, TELL ME!

*Ahem*

Please.