I got a lot of problems with you people. And now you’re going to hear about it.
Ok, maybe not with you people*, but I’ve got some grievances that need to be aired. If only there were a holiday that allowed us to do that. The Waiting‘s Emily and Ashley, Etc.‘s Ashley are throwing a Festivus party for the Bloggy-verse, so to get into the holiday spirit, I decided to gripe.
*Not you people in the offensive way. When I say you people, I mean the half dozen of you tasteless freaks that read this crap.
The first grievance isn’t really a grievance. Really just an observation about this Festivus party*. There’s a Secret Santa exchange. I’ve got no problem with that. I like presents. But that’s sort of the opposite of what Festivus is about, which is meant to be an anti-commercialism event. It’s like if you celebrated Christmas by kicking babies. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that Emily and Ashley like to kick babies.
*Emily and Ashley, you can’t get mad at me because I’m getting into the Festivus spirit. I’m doing it for you!
My first real grievance is with Pinterest. Just part of Pinterest, really. They’ve got some okay stuff on there, especially if you’re into cream cheese, chalkboard paint, and mason jars, which I’m not exactly. I’m not even bent out of shape about the corny inspirational crap that people seem to pin the hell out of. Go to town if that’s your thing.
The trouble is that Pinterest has become the easiest way available to spread stupidity. Don’t get me wrong—Facebook and Twitter can make their own claims to the stupidity belt, but Pinterest, by making it a one-click process, has allowed it to spread like the crazy monkey virus in Outbreak. Some examples of the stupid shit I see popping up? Quotes attributed to people who never came close to saying anything of the sort. I understand that people love it when one of their personal beliefs or some vapid bumper sticker phrase can be attributed to someone with actual credibility, but some people don’t take the two seconds to a) actually read the damn quote, or b) consider if it sounds anything like that person would actually say. Lincoln didn’t have anything pertinent to say about wakeboarding, trust me.
Another thing that seemed to be making the rounds on Pinterest was the tip to download music “legally” by going to a site. Let’s get this straight—it’s not legal. If it were legal, there wouldn’t be a link on the site to a petition to make it legal. It’s still stealing. You want to know a legal way to download music? Buy it. If you want to download it free, don’t try to call it legal. Getting things from someone who already stole it doesn’t make it legal. It makes you an accessory, genius. If you still think this is completely on the up-and-up, I think I have some old friends from middle school who’d like to store some stuff in your garage for a while—you know, till the heat dies down.
The next thing (and we’ll make this the last so I don’t let the inner cranky old man get too much airtime today) is this CD that Karli got at Target a few weeks back. See, she digs Christmas music. Pretty hard core about it, actually—like she listens to Christmas music on Memorial Day—that hard core. She also likes her some Irish music. So while we were at Target, we picked up the Celtic Thunder Christmas.
I want to make something perfectly clear for a moment. I wasn’t really too excited about the CD in the first place. I don’t share her enthusiasm for the Christmas tunes. I was just in a nice mood and let Karli have her fun.
All things aside, however, this CD sucks. Total waste of whatever it was we spent on it. It is neither Celtic nor thundering. It was more like watered-down lounge music to be played over a department store loudspeaker. Terrible. Awful. No good. Very bad. If that’s your thing, though, I think there might be a copy sitting on the shoulder of I-70 somewhere around Lecompton, KS.
I’ll close with a real thundering Celtic-like Christmas tune. Happy Festivus. Call me for the Feats of Strength. If you can pin me, you get the big slice of ham.