& the freak-down: bits n pieces

The Freak-Down

29 Days

A few things strung together to make a whole post:


A drawer full of crap catchers.

We celebrated our anniversary rather tamely—the only way you can really do it with a lady approaching 36 weeks of fetus-baking. A quiet, easily-digested dinner and hanging out at home. The exciting part of the day was when the diapers arrived. Normally, diapers wouldn’t be that exciting, but these aren’t your normal Pampers. We got an order in from BumRite Diapers, and you’d be excited when the diapers look this cool. We just need to wash them and we’re ready to go. Man, and I thought my parents were lame when I was a kid.

Yesterday, since the offices at the school here are closed on Fridays over the summer, which means Karli gets those days off, we ran some errands. Nothing too exciting—getting some groceries and picking up some boxes from U-Haul. But since this isn’t the most populated of areas, there isn’t a real U-Haul business. It’s always another type of business that happens to rent out U-Haul trucks. The place we went happened to be a consignment store.

We started ordering some boxes from the lady behind the counter, an older woman who was having a little trouble keeping up with what Karli was saying. Now, if you’ve never been to U-Haul before, you might not be aware that U-Haul will let you return any boxes you don’t use to get your money back on them. Standard stuff. Anyway, here’s how part of the conversation went between Karli and the lady behind the counter:

Karli: And we’re able to bring back whatever we don’t use?
Old Lady: Sure. Well, there’s a 15% restocking fee, but you can bring them back.
Karli: A restocking fee? We’ve done this six times before and never had to pay a restocking fee.
Old Lady: *30 seconds of blank stare*
Karli: You’re sure there’s a restocking fee? Because if we have to pay a restocking fee, we can just go get this stuff somewhere else.
Old Lady: *30 more seconds of blank stare* What would you want to return?
Me: *Trying hard not to laugh*
Karli: I don’t know. Some of the boxes and I don’t know if we’ll use this many rolls of tape.
Old Lady: *More blank stare*
Karli: Can we bring them back?
Old Lady: *More blank stare before slowly nodding*
Karli: *Exasperated blank stare*

Here’s your lesson on southeastern Oklahoma for today—if you’re even the least bit assertive and stand your ground, you can practically make people piss in their pants. They want so badly to avoid confrontation that they’ll give in to just about anything. Karli stopped at insisting on U-Haul’s policy to be kept up. I was kinda hoping she’d keep going till they were basically paying us to take these boxes off their hands. I’m a supportive husband like that.

As a coda to the story, the old lady called over one of the other employees to help us get our boxes and told her that if we bring any boxes back, we wouldn’t be charged a restocking fee. The other lady, who was apparently a little more with it responded that they don’t charge restocking fees on boxes anyway. So it’s cool.

In addition to the super fun time at the U-Haul place, we took advantage of the day off to go see a movie. Of course we went to What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It’s definitely not a classic, but it’s got some funny parts. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re probably cool waiting till it gets to Netflix or shows up on television.

The one part where Karli laughed the hardest was when Elizabeth Banks’s character showed up to the baby shower of another character carrying about a gallon bottle of Tums. The fart wake she leaves behind her is pretty funny, too. I could hear Karli’s been-there-done-that laugh (except for the farting part, of course*) tail off as she started to ponder where to find her own bucket of antacids. Art imitating life.

*Nice save! ::Self-high five::

Banks also has a nice tirade a little later in the movie, most of which sounded eerily familiar to things I’ve already heard over the last few months. Not everything in there, but a lot of it. Her character is about as big a fan of pregnancy as Karli is.

Yep. Heard that one before.


2 thoughts on “& the freak-down: bits n pieces

  1. Pingback: & the freak-down: the experience « & squatch makes three

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