& the freak-down: the age gap

The Freak Down

39 Days

Maybe it’s not really representative, this being rural Oklahoma and all, but when we go to the doctor and sit interminably in the waiting room, I look around at all the other folks in there waiting to get their bellies seen, and it seems to me that we’re older than most of them. By quite a bit. As a matter of fact, a couple of them are on their second or third kids and look like they’re squeezing their prenatal appointments in during fourth period homeroom.

We waited for quite a bit to have kids. Next Thursday, Karli and I will celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary. We got married young. But we were trying to do the responsible thing and wait till we were financially and personally ready to have kids. Which makes us old.

I don’t think how old we are will really matter that much to Squatch. Our kid is going to think we’re old no matter what. But when we get around other parents of Squatch’s peers, we’re going to seem a little beyond some of their age groups.

Don’t get me wrong—Karli and I are definitely not old. And again, my current reference point is the Teen Mom-ish waiting room. But at this point, I’m about three-and-a-half years older than my mom was when she had me. And she’s even told me that she occasionally felt old at some parent nights in school.

Fresh Prince

Parents of Squatch’s classmates: How many people in this photo can you name–besides Will Smith?

I’m thinking Karli and I will be the only parents in the room who know what cassette tapes are. Or who can remember the Soviet Union actually being a thing. Or whose introduction to Paula Abdul wasn’t American Idol.

I don’t often feel old. There are moments, of course—like when half my composition class has never seen an episode of Gilligan’s Island—but for the most part, I still consider myself relatively young. This may be because my current frames of reference are my coworkers—faculty in a college English department. But for the most part I feel downright spry.

This will change, I know. Like when Squatch starts to rattle off names of musicians I don’t know or consider to be “noise.” Or when people start talking about the 20th anniversary of some event I remember vividly and still consider recent. Or when I start bitching about joint pains.

And, of course, when I’m going to be around Squatch’s classmates and their parents. I wonder if they’ll compliment my Life Alert necklace.


10 thoughts on “& the freak-down: the age gap

  1. That’s just like M and me. we were married 11 years before we had Max. Fortunately we live in a city where older parents are somewhat normal but in our childbirth class I swear all seven other couples looked like they were 23 year old newlyweds….

  2. Dude! Carlton is still my fave. Wasn’t Alfonso Ribeiro on Silver Spoons too? Did that make you feel a little better?

    My hubs and I have been together 11 years, married for 7 (our anniversary is next month!) so I hear ya on being together forever before procreating. I actually feel like the odd set of parents out in my group of friends. And we’re kind of in the middle as far as age, but were one of the first to have a kid. There is a distinct set of 30-somethings I know that have no immediate plans of kids, and have just gotten married. It makes us feel like some traditional parents somehow. Maybe it’s rural OK vs Austin, TX. You know you’d love it here.

    • I think I’d love it more if it weren’t for that TX part. I don’t know that I can handle the heat of anything farther south than this. Plus your governor is batshit insane. So there’s that. . .

  3. The parents at LBHQ predate the moon landing. One of them got called “Grandma” at Tim Horton’s yesterday. The weird thing is…I don’t think they feel any wiser…

  4. The Lumberjack turns 36 next Thursday; I turn 35 a month after I become A Mother. And I still know every word to “Straight Up.”

    I suppose we are old.

  5. My mother is an RN at a rural Dept. Of Public Health, where the chief issue is bringing up to speed the overwhelming onslaught of teen moms. There are days my mom comes home from work and says exasperated “There’s just too much f**king in this county!”

    By comparison my Dental Hygienist, who can barely turn on a cel-phone, let alone check email or use a digital camera, had her first kid 2.5 years ago… at age 48!!!

    • I’m with your mom. Around here, though, it’s kinda the only option for things to do. Either that or meth, which means it’s going to be a disaster here no matter what.


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