& the freak-down: loyalties

The Freak-Down

48 Days

It’s late here in the middle of the country, and I’m still up because I watched the Giants beat the Brewers. Being a Giants fan in the middle of the country, I’m up late a lot because San Francisco is two hours behind us, so their games start later. That doesn’t explain tonight’s game, though, because they were playing in Milwaukee, in the same time zone. What does explain it is that they went into the 14th inning before the Giants finally won, and I stayed up for every minute of it.

There’s not much for me to pass down to my kids. Our family doesn’t have a ton of heirlooms that we can leave to future generations. What we have is the Giants.

In the Davis family, the San Francisco Giants are the team, from my Grandparents to my aunts and uncles and on down to me and my cousins. And with any luck, onto future generations. Being a Giants fan is practically the closest thing we have to a Davis family legacy. Hell, my cousin threw out the first pitch yesterday for the last Giants game against the A’s*. It’s how we do.

*Meanwhile, I watched the game in a shitty laundromat in a shitty nowhere town on my iPhone. Jealous? Nah, why would I be?

Get ’em young.

I’ve already begun plans for Squatch’s indoctrination. With any luck, that kid’s first words are going to be “Say Hey.” But this doesn’t mean I’m not prepared.

I’m prepared for my kids not to have any interest in baseball. It happens. It’ll be hard if they’re in our house, but it happens. I’m certainly not interested in everything my parents are, so I understand that.

I’m prepared for my kids to start rooting for a different team. If we’re in Kansas City for any length of time, we’ll probably head out to quite a few Royals games. I’m fine with Squatch being a Royals fan—in fact, I’d probably encourage it. I’m a big believer in rooting for your hometown team*. That’s why my family is full of Giants fans in the first place. Karli is (for some reason) a Cubs fan. It’s all right if Squatch sides with Mom . . . I guess. I’m cool with my kid showing some loyalty to its roots or to its mom’s team, so long as it just doesn’t openly root against my team when theirs isn’t involved. That’s when we’ll have words.

*Even when they suck as bad as the Royals. Actually, especially when they suck as bad as the Royals. Real loyalty is a tough character trait to teach.

What I’m not prepared for is the possibility that the kid will be a Dodgers fan. That’s practically cause for disownment. There are two things Squatch will learn before it can walk:

  1. What Mom says, goes.
  2. The Dodgers suck.

Being a Dodgers fan is a miserable existence, full of mockery, derisive laughter, death stares, and general cold-shouldering. And that’s just what the kid would get from me. Forget about the taunting it’ll get from everyone else around.

My mom will be the first to tell you I had my own little battle with loyalty lines. When I was little, my best friend was an Oakland Raiders fan. And I decided, being the impressionable young person that I was, that I would also be a Raiders fan. My mom, a lifelong Chiefs fan from Kansas, had to put aside her heartbreak and accept her son the traitor. She’ll tell you about the Raiders helmet she forced herself to buy for Christmas one year.

But that’s a little different, I think. Oakland was just across the bay, and I never really stopped liking the 49ers—it was just a misguided dual loyalty. And I eventually wised up and ditched the Raiders. However, we don’t live (and don’t plan to live) anywhere near LA. My kid would have to go out of its way to be a Dodger fan from across the country. That’s malice aforethought right there; just ask a lawyer. Grounds for disownment.

You’ve been warned, Squatch.


4 thoughts on “& the freak-down: loyalties

  1. Glad to see you’re prepared to teach your little one the ways of the world. I may not know much about baseball, but I know lesson number one will sure make life easier. 🙂

  2. I’m glad the next generation of Davis kids are being properly taught to be Giants fans- that and being able to sleep pretty much anywhere at any time of the day is all we really have left to give them. Did you know my dad got my mom a “humm baby” shirt to wear when they took me home from the hospital? it was literally being ingrained from day one:)

    • Yeah, that sleep thing is pure awesomeness. Hopefully, it won’t be counteracted by Karli’s inability to sleep in anything but abject silence. Which doesn’t bode well for me and my snoring.


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