This morning, we had a childbirth class. Sort of. We went to the hospital, watched a few videos and got a little tour of the labor and delivery ward. I guess, by current “No Child Left Behind” standards, that constitutes a class. But I don’t know if I’d call it that.
I didn’t really have any idea what to expect from it, so I had to go back to my only real knowledge of these things being movies and television. So I guess I thought it’d be something like this:
Or maybe this:
This would’ve been hilariously fantastic:
And I was really hoping it wouldn’t be this:
But what we actually found was three couples seated at tables and a nurse who looked more like he’d have been a bodyguard. There went my expectations.
With that, here’s what I took away from it:
We’re going to be okay. Karli and I seemed a little bit more engaged than the other people there, even though it was a completely optional, free class. Karli was the only one asking questions throughout the whole thing. During a break when all the pregnant ladies headed to the bathroom, Karli told me one of them talked about how she’d be better off if her husband wasn’t coming along to anything because he was just complaining about everything. Even Squatch was responding to the videos. I think we’re good.
Boobs. The breastfeeding video had a bunch of them. I would venture to say that there was more boob screen time than your average pornographic film. I don’t know that you could talk about breastfeeding without showing boobs, but I’m actually just kind of startled by the number of women who are apparently cool with just whipping out their boobs for the camera. It’s not just drunk girls on spring break busting them out for Girls Gone Wild.
Some folks are just militant. The videos that they showed us were very dogmatic in favor of natural child birth and breastfeeding. The nurse in charge, however, was not. While the videos got really preachy about their particular philosophies, the nurse kept pausing the video to point out that you’re not horrible for wanting an epidural or not breastfeeding. He also paused it when the childbirth video told us that the partner “should be assertive with the pregnant lady during labor” to let us know that’s not always the best idea. He’s looking out for us, I can tell.
Basically his position was that it’s our pregnancy, we should do it how we want, and we shouldn’t let other people talk us into or out of anything. He was good about answering any specific questions that people (read: Karli) had. And he did a lot to put people at ease. He came across as someone to listen to.
It wasn’t just because he looked like he could take me out, either.