One of the things about living in a rural area is that occasionally wild creatures will encroach on the populated area. It’s not uncommon to see deer wandering across campus early in the morning. We’ve heard of people around us whose pets have been eaten by coyotes and mountain lions*. One person we’ve known had an armadillo loose in her house. It happens.
*Yep, we got those in Okie-land. Jealous?
One creature that has gone from mere encroachment to full on infestation is the American douchebag. Finding overcrowding at their natural habitats—tanning salons, 24-Hour Fitness franchises, Hollister stores, night clubs—they have made their way into less populated areas to seek out new nests.
As there aren’t many public places around where we live, Karli and I see them around quite a bit. Like at lunch today.
Karli: “That guy over there has a ‘Muff Divers Union, Local 69’ shirt on. Who would wear something like that?”
Karli: “The guy over there. His t-shirt says ‘Muff Divers Union, Local 69.’ Who would—”
Me: “I heard you the first time. I just wanted to make you say it again.”
Karli: “I hate you.”