& stalling out

It appears I’ve hit a wall. And in order for me to not feel like such a crappy baby daddy, I’m telling myself it’s completely normal, whether it is or not.

Karli’s almost 26 weeks pregnant. It seems forever ago that we found out, and almost as long since I started doing this here blog. That’s a long time, yo. Entire television series have started and been canceled since Squatch has been in utero. Pretty sure some celebrity has been busted for drugs, gone through rehab, relapsed, been tried, sentenced, and served a complete* jail term since we’ve found out about that baby’s existence.

*A “complete” jail sentence in the celebrity sense of the word is not the same as “complete” in the inner-city-youth-who-nobody-gives-a-shit-about sense. There are some of those people who went to jail at the same time for the same offense and probably won’t get out till Squatch is old enough to be their parole officer. But we’re getting off topic.

But there are still 14-ish weeks left. Which is still a long time. I don’t know if it’s a lack of patience, a lack of stamina, or a lack of attention span (or possibly all three), but I’m starting to feel—for lack of a better word—a little burnt out here. And I’m not even carrying the damn thing!

One of those daddy books that I read for some advice says that dads (and moms) might start to feel some indifference at this point during the pregnancy. I don’t know if “indifference” is the word I’d use. I’ve certainly got some strong feelings, mostly of the “hurry up and get here” variety. It’s not indifference. More like impatience.

Karli can vouch that I tend to be one of the more patient people she knows*. When someone’s wearing on our nerves, I’ll tend to stick with them long past the point where she’s gotten frustrated and given up. I’ll put up with screaming and stupidity and long awkward pauses far easier than most.

*This does not apply when I’m driving. Mostly because I hate driving in the first place. But if you can’t see the damn green light . . .

But damn, Squatch. Where you at? I’m starting to get all antsy up in here.

Yes, I know what’s waiting for me on the other end. I know there will be no sleep and fountains of human shit and screaming and wishes for my own swift demise. And I know that the impatience will only get worse as we get closer to D-Day, but I felt like talking about it now. That way, when future me reads back over my blog posts, he can curse under his breath at the doofus who wanted to bring all this upon himself. And maybe laugh at the idiot he once was.

The waiting really is the hardest part. But that’s only because I don’t have to birth a watermelon with elbows.

Give-a Give-a Giveaway Winner!

I opened up my little spring break contest hoping to be flooded with antsy blog followers hoping to grab a piece of glory by winning their very own Sleep Sheep. Nothing drives blog traffic like giving away free stuff, I thought.

Thanks to the four people who entered. I wish I had enough Sleep Sheep to give to everyone who said they wanted one. In fact, I almost did. Because I’m awesome* like that.

*And of course, by “awesome,” I mean totally horrible at promoting myself.

Anyway, I meant to post a winner on Monday, but we came home to the internet not working at our house, which is where I tend to do most of my bloggery stuff. I had to wait till things died down at work, which would be Friday afternoon, when nobody is going to be paying attention to anything that happens on my blog. Not that there are that many people paying attention, anyway.

Now that I’ve delayed long enough, congrats to Jell Jell from I’ll Sleep When They’re Grown! A piece of little-known and useless trivia—ISWTG is one of the first parenting blogs I started reading and helped to curb my fear of becoming a parent. She’s also one of the first people to start reading this blog, so more power to her for sticking through this long. And congrats again on your new farm animal that will be heading on down to Austin when I remember to take the box over to the post office.

I need to start working on another giveaway, since the last one brought so many people. Maybe I’ll give away a free iPad*. Watch for that next week!

*Yeah, right. But I’m sure the words “free iPad” will get me some Google traffic. Or get me bookmarked as spam. One or the other.


8 thoughts on “& stalling out

  1. What you’re feeling at this point is totally normal. You need the numb time so you can handle the sheer panic ahead. Then, you’ll hit a rhythm and relax again … until Squatch reaches a milestone and you panic about “is this normal right now?!??!”

    • I think I might be arming myself with an arsenal of books just to make sure my kid isn’t behind. Because if it doesn’t use the toilet when it’s supposed to, it’ll never get into college. This is already set in stone in my mind.

  2. Yes, I completely agree. Second trimester is prime time for forgetting about babies, and I was carrying the dang thing! Incidentally, I think it was right around that exact same time that I started blogging about way more than just baby stuff, so if you’re getting burned out, you weren’t the only one. Now, of course, all I do is think about the baby as she will be here *hopefully* this time next week and as she impedes my very movement from the sofa to the kitchen. The impatience we are experiencing is BRUTAL.

    So glad Jells got the Sleep Sheep. We should start a fan fiction-type collaborative blog where our Sleep Sheeps interact together. Maybe they could open a restaurant/bank/live in a Manhattan loft together.

    • I’m down with the Sleep Sheep Manhattan stories. I think mine would be the Ross character (or Ted in the HIMYM analog). It just seems to have that demeanor. Or, if this were more a Sex in the City-type thing, it’d be more Miranda.

      Miranda’s a thing, right?

  3. The longest bit is the last two weeks. Or, when people say, “OH! When are you do???” and she snaps, “A week ago!”

    We all wait with joyful anticipation to the appearance… you’ll rock this dad thing.

  4. I got it yesterday! And it was such an exciting surprise! Especially since I thought I was getting thin mints from some completely random person, then I decided to read who the box was from. And double excitement! I will write a post about it and give you a little blog promotion that you sorely deserve. Once I can upload pics again. And yay for that little bit of trivia! It warmed my heart. Thanks again, blog friend! Nothing makes me feel better than feeling special from winning things. And getting things in the mail. Both.

    • Glad it made it there. I’m sure it has some pretty interesting airline stories about the terrible turbulence or the dick in the row ahead reclining his seat all the way back so it felt like he was laying in its little sheep lap. See if it smuggled any of those little airplane blankets out. I thought it looked like the type to do that sort of thing.


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