& i folk things up

Pretty sure that's not human.

Today we headed to McAlester for the ultrasound. For most people, this is the day they’re looking forward to because it’s when they find out if their little womb raiders have innies or outies—and I’m not talking about belly buttons here. But since we’re not finding out the gender, it doesn’t have that same special significance to us.

Don’t get me wrong. We were excited to be seeing Squatch again and make sure the little thing is progressing okay. We saw it move around, hit itself in the head, heard the heartbeat and it was all awesome. We found out that it’s measuring at about 20 weeks, even though Karli’s at 19. Kinda freaked out that it looks a little like the rabbit from Donnie Darko when viewed from the front, but—y’know—unconditional love and all. We’re just not finding out about the indoor/outdoor plumbing situation. And since we’re not taking a peek at the Squatch crotch, I figured we could try out some of the folk legends that try to predict the gender. Should be good for a laugh, at least.

Look-a those big ol' feet! That's my sasquatch baby, all right.

Baby Heart Rate: Above 140 bpm—Girl
Morning Sickness: Oh yeah, you betcha—Girl
Cravings: Sweet—Girl
Carrying High or Low: Can’t tell yet—Pass
Chinese Gender Predictor (American Calendar)—Girl
Chinese Gender Predictor (Chinese Calendar)—Boy
Baking Soda Test: No fizz—Girl
Mayan Gender Prediction: Age + Year of Conception=Even number—Girl
Ring on a String: Rotating in a circle—Girl
Dad gaining weight: For once, no—Girl
Prettier or Uglier: I don’t think I’m allowed to say anything besides ‘Prettier’—Boy
Hair Thicker or Thinner: Thicker—Girl
Nails Growing Faster or Stronger: Nope—Girl
Leg Hair Growing Faster or Thicker: Nope—Girl
Craving Orange Juice: Yep—Girl
My sister-in-law’s assertion that young children are smitten with women pregnant with a baby of the opposite sex: My youngest nephew loves Karli. LovesGirl
Then, there’s Madame Zaritska:

The day you deliver, outside will be rainy. Your baby will arrive in the early evening. After a labor lasting approximately 15 hours, your child, a Girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 7 pounds, 9 ounces, and will be 18-1/2 inches long. This child will have dark amber eyes and curly red hair.

So I’m seeing a trend here. However, despite all the—um, scientific—evidence, Karli is sure Squatch is a boy.

The Squatch. Chillin'.

All this stuff is just for shits and grins, but has anyone else done them? Can you vouch for their accuracy at all? I know of one person who was supposed to be having a hermaphrodite, but that proved not to be true. But does anyone else have any experience with these tests?

Ignore the terrible reflections in the photos. No easy access to a decent scanner at the moment, so I took pictures of the pictures with my phone. Enjoy the view of my office’s styrofoam ceiling!

16 thoughts on “& i folk things up

  1. As long as it doesn’t have curly red eyes, you’re doing okay.

    We never found out gender with any of our kids until they were born. We got mixed “signs” for each of them. Middle son had a heart rate at the slower end, Squish’s heart rate was faster.

  2. Whoo! Thanks for the shout out. And sorry for the non-hermaphrodite disappointment. I was all set to name Herman, too. Hermie the Hermaphrodite. Or Pat. But Pat is almost expected.

    Madam Zarisakovavich is way off. I tested her out. It is not going to be cold in July, I am not having a girl and my kid better not weigh 11 lbs if it knows what’s good for it. And violet eyes?! WTF.

  3. I’m with expletive baby. Madame Zaristka seriously freaked me out. If I’m only having a 5 lb baby, I’d better start getting ready for pre-term labor…

    • Yeah, some of the responses I’ve seen from people include like a 15-pound, 10-inch baby, which would make it wider than it is tall. I’m questioning Madame Zaritska’s credentials and starting to doubt she even went to medical school.

  4. I craved sugar, the chinese thing said girl, the ring thing said girl, I carried extremely low which various people told me was girl or boy depending on who you ask, I was CERTAIN down to the core of my being that I was having a girl. Two days before my ultra sound I had a dream about having a little boy which started to shift my opinion. We had a boy. All of those old wives tale things are just that– they all have a 50/50 chance of being right. 🙂

    • Yeah, I don’t think we’ll be buying any Madame Zaritska stock. But we do know that at least one of the Chinese things is right. Hopefully…

  5. I had my 12wk ultrasound today, and saw the exact same donnie darko rabbit face. I said “holy shit!” to the nurse, before catching myself and mumbling something about the magical beauty of my growing infant. Did you also get the overhead shot where you SEE THE BABY’S BRAIN?!

    • Yeah, we saw the brain and the chambers of the heart and all the other internal organs. It was everything I could do not to ask, “Is the baby inside-out?!?”

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