& a manifesto: theories on world ownership

Holy balls, the first week of class is crazy. I feel like I’ve neglected the blog. I’m so sorry to the dozens of people who read this. I don’t mean to treat you so bad. I still love you.

Anyway, getting classrooms full of students this week gave me an idea. Which means it’s time for:

A Manifesto of the Uninformed

Part 3: A Sense of Entitlement

Bitch, you aren't special. Get down from there.

There are a number of different categories that teachers can place students into. And, trust me, we do it a lot. The majority fall into a type.

I think I speak for most teachers when I say the worst type of student to get in your class is the entitled student. The entitled ones are the people who think their mere presence is a gift, that I am here as their employee, that their grade is my responsibility. And that’s just what they’re like in the classroom. Out in actual life, where things actually matter, they’re actually much worse.

I swear to everything holy, the first time I catch a whiff of any entitlement, I’m knocking the teeth out of Squatch’s skull.

Maybe it’s just how I was raised (a sincere thanks to Mom and Dad), but I never grew up thinking everything I did was unique and special and worthy of praise and attention. In my house, when we did things worthy of encouragement, we were encouraged. But not everything we did got the “special little snowflake” treatment. Not all our ugly-ass nonsense drawings were stuck to the refrigerator, and we walked to school in six feet of snow, uphill both ways.

Sorry, got on a roll there.

Point being, I don’t want my kid to turn out like some of the smug little shits who’ve graced me with their attendance in class. I think somewhere in their upbringing, the message got screwed up.

A lot of people grow up hearing, “You can be anything you want to be.” I know I did. The entitled assholes grow up believing that means all they have to do is want it, then ask for it, and they can have whatever their special little hearts desire. The way I was raised, and the way I hope to raise Squatch, is that you can be anything you want, so long as you work hard to be good enough at it.

I promise, Squatch, you get all "smug bitch" on me and I'll Kimbo Slice your ass.

I haven’t become jaded enough to think that all people are being brought up to be entitled. You ask some other teachers, and all the young folks are that way these days. But back in our day…

No, they’re not all like that. Not even the majority. But enough come along that—however briefly—you question your decision to start teaching instead of taking up MMA.

One punch is all I ask.


4 thoughts on “& a manifesto: theories on world ownership

  1. Amen and amen. And dealing with the entitled students is only the beginning. As I am sure you know, dealing with the parents who made them that way to begin with is the real fun.

    • Well, the lucky part is that, since I teach at a college, I just have to tell the parents I’m not legally allowed to talk to them about their kid. God bless privacy laws.

  2. One of my friends who teaches at a university said that some dolt went on a big tirade at the end of last semester because my friend failed him. To this my friend responded that yes, he failed him, due to the fact that he rarely attended class and didn’t submit a final project.

    Oh, people. People, people, people.

    • I wish I could say I never had almost the exact same conversation with a student. I also wish they’d change the four food groups to be Coca-Cola, Cheez-Its, Pie, and Ribs. We’ll see which one is more likely.


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